Saturday Musings – Saying Sorry When It’s Not Your Fault

Saturday Musings – Saying Sorry When It’s Not Your Fault

Many people have no problem with saying sorry when they’ve done something wrong but refuse to apologize when they firmly believe they're right. They take the stance, that since they’ve done nothing wrong (in their eyes) then why should they say sorry. What this behavior clearly demonstrates is their lack of understanding of the purpose of apologizing.

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Saying your sorry has less to do with right and wrong and more to do with hurt feelings. Being right doesn’t mean you haven’t hurt someone else’s feelings and standing on your dignity by not apologizing often just makes the situation worse.

This year I’m coming up to my thirtieth wedding anniversary with the most wonderful, patient and loving lady I could ever dream of spending my life with. Has it all been plain sailing? Heck no! Like any marriage, over the years we’ve had our ups and downs.

I remember one time when I knew that I knew that I was right and yet my wife was in tears in front of me. This was a bazaar situation for a young male who inadvertently poured buckets of gas on his wife's flaming misery by telling her to just “get over it”. It was after a number of these episodes that it dawned on me (with a lot of help from Roselyn) that because I did no wrong didn’t mean I was right.

Sure enough……it happened again. I took the superior position of being “right” and expected Roselyn to realize the error of her feelings. We males can be really dumb sometimes! It took a few minutes for me to work out that I was about to go on the merry-go-round again so this time I decided to step off.

I apologized. Not for anything I’d done wrong but for the fact that I’d hurt her feelings. Something magical happened in that moment…..peace was restored to our relationship.

So many of us are trying to win each and every battle with those that we “love” that we forget we’re actually not at war. A simple heart-felt apology is often all that it takes to restore the relationship and bring a little bit of heaven to your earth.

Like I said, I’m coming up to my thirtieth anniversary this year and when you’ve been around someone that long you learn a lot about them and yourself. It’s been an adventure that has led to a depth of love, respect and appreciation that has far surpassed my expectations when we first got married…..we thought we loved each other then. LOL! That was nothing compared to now.

Learning to say sorry when you’re not at fault is one of the many lessons that my wife and I have both learned over the years. As we look forward to the years ahead I sometimes wonder how we can love each other more than we already do……and then I look at both of our parents who have been married for 50+ years and smile.

If you want to build long last relationships with your loved ones then my advice is to humble yourself to say sorry even when you don’t think you should.

Have a great weekend!

Battleframe

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Saturday Musings - When Someone Spoils Your Week...

Saturday Musings - When Someone Spoils Your Week...

This past week has been incredible…..so much happening and so quickly that it makes my head spin. I just love it when it’s like this. Development is going full steam ahead, had some great client meetings and the team is working on a couple of ground breaking ideas. Amongst all of this excitement there is always someone or something that rains on your parade….in my case it was Pepper.

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For those of you that don’t know, Pepper is my cat. She’s been a part of the family for over fifteen years and we all absolutely love her.

Whenever I go away she comes and sits in my study and stares out the window waiting for me to come back from my travels. When Roselyn and I sit on the couch to watch television she inevitably climbs up between us and demands a scratch under the chin. Well, this was her behaviour until last week….

About a week ago Roselyn decided that it was time for Pepper to have some worming medicine and after a bit of a fight (which involved a few scratches) she gave up. As far as our cat was concerned we’d crossed the line. No more sitting next to me as I worked or snuggling up on the couch together. She almost stopped eating, banished herself outside and meows pitifully if we come near.

Like I said, there’s always someone that spoils your week. Sometimes it’s because in your wild enthusiasm you just trod on a few toes or forgot to do something you committed yourself to. In these cases, maybe it’s time for some apologies to get things back on track.

I’ve always been amazed at people that won’t apologise. The person that is strong in themselves doesn’t view saying sorry as a weakness but rather as a strength. So who is stronger, the one that apologises or the one that digs their heels in?

So I’m apologising to Pepper. This has involved debasing myself to moving the food to where she is resting rather than in the normal spot. Ensuring that she has premium irresistible quality, full of flavour and goodness rather than cheap dry stuff. I’ve even coaxed her inside with a few scratches behind the ears…..and slowly but surely she is responding.

So if you’ve ever had someone spoil your awesome week then take them out for a really good dinner followed by a massage….you’ll win every time.

Have a great weekend!

Michael

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