Starting a new job, project or business can be one of the most exciting and most stressful times in your life. It just so happens that this evening I’m about to do exactly that….I’ve decided to take on a new job as a bouncer.
For those of you that have met me, you will undoubtedly have great concerns about by intended new vocation. My physique is not particularly suited for the job as my fingers are more used to typing on a keyboard than rough handling a few delinquents out the door. But, I know I can rise to the challenge!
At some stage in most men’s life, circumstances thrust you into making difficult decisions and whether you rise to the challenge or collapse under the burden is up to your attitude. Tonight, I intend to be triumphant in my ability to become the best bouncer that has walked this planet….so watch out!
I know this is my first night on the job but I seemed to pass the job interview pretty well….even though I'm a bit stressed knowing the success or failure of the event largely rests on my shoulders. I’ve been told that imagining various scenarios can help alleviate my stress, so in an effort to prepare myself I’m practicing my witty bouncer comeback lines. I'd be interested in your feedback...
Partier: “So why are you throwing me out?”
Me: “Because your domains really suck and you have fraudulent traffic! That’s why!”
Or how about…
Partier: “Who the hell do you think you are?”
Me: (with Dirty Harry’s voice – of course): “I bet you’re wondering just how much traffic I have left? Can I really unleash a torrent of hell down upon your website? Well, feeling lucky punk?”
Or….and now I’m getting way ahead of myself.
Partier (Bill Paxton whining Aliens voice): “Party’s over man, party’s over.”
Me: “It is for you. I just caught you attempting a domain hijacking. You’re outta here!”
So what do you think? Do I need to improve some of them? Please provide me with any suggestions to help me through my first bouncing job……as time marches forward I’m starting to feel a little nervous.
BTW, I should also mention that tonight is my daughter’s eighteenth birthday party and me (ie. Dad) is the bouncer of choice. So it’s with great relief that it looks like my new job is more of a contract appointment that will be finishing around 1am. Who knows, if I’m any good I may launch another business……I just need to buy the domain for that!
Have a great weekend and thankfully, I'll see you at NamesCon!