Saturday Musings - Dealing With Bullies

I was looking out my study window this morning and enjoying watching a family of birds as mum responded to the constant chirping of a youngster with a tasty morsel. All at once two slightly larger birds from a different variety swept in and began attacking the youngster.

The parents defended their child and a few friends flew in to help drive the bullies off. It wasn’t very pleasant viewing, but it reminded me of a number of things about the behaviour of some humans.

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, but their ultimate goal is to control those around them. When they act alone they pick on the perceived weak or a person that is in no position to fight back. When they act as a group they will inevitably demonstrate their power and influence publicly, so they can intimidate others into submission.

Bullies are everywhere. They can be found at on the world stage, at work, amongst friends or even within our families. The challenge is how to deal with them in a respectful manner that doesn’t lower yourself down to their level.

Whether you voted for him or not, the current US president often behaves like a bully. I watched the news this week as the head of the UN Human Rights called the president out on an issue while maintaining his own self-respect. It was a lesson in self-control on a global scale.

One of the most important lessons in life is determining what you can and can not change. Some people spend endless amounts of time worrying and getting stressed over things they cannot influence. The only thing you can change in this world is you. This means you cannot change a bully, you can only change how your respond to them.

Everyone has a right to be treated with respect…..more often than not bullies don’t do this. As soon as a bully is disrespectful, extract yourself from the situation and spend time with people that are more uplifting. You don’t have to put up with being demeaned so they can make themselves look better.

Bullies will often try and get you to do things you would not normally do….you have a right to say no. I’ve seen individuals get a revelation of their ability to say “no” and suddenly their life has been transformed.

I recently re-watched “The Lord of the Rings” and one of the scenes involves the character Gollum talking to himself. He has a split personality and finally his good half tells his evil side “No!” and never come back. When he finally does this he suddenly experiences an incredible amount of joy at being free!

I just looked out my window and the family of birds are once again happily doing what bird families do. The bullies have been driven off and life is back to normal. I think it’s time I puts some bread out for them as a little reward.

Have a great weekend.