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Saturday Musings - Being Focused

20200229_SM_focus Transform your life with focus.

One of the most powerful things you can do in your life is to develop a razor sharp focus. We can spend huge amounts of time on issues that may concern us but which we have little to no influence over.

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Your business or work may be faced with a large number of opportunities, but should you really try and tackle them all or just one or two? Sorting out the answer to this question is often the difference between success and failure.

How does focus apply to your family and friends? Does your crazy hectic schedule get the best of you and loved ones end up getting the scraps left over? Being focused can transform who you are to those you love…..I wonder what life would be like if you were really focused on what mattered?

This is the very first Saturday Musings video I’ve produced, and I hope you enjoy it. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Youtube channel, leave a comment or click the “like” button.

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Comments

Wolftalker on 29 February 2020
Competing with Focus -

As John Lennon noted, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making plans."

As John Lennon noted, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making plans."
vanclute on 01 March 2020
Actions speak louder than words...

You can always tell what's actually important (and more to the point, what is UN-important) to people by where they spend their time. Sadly today, one of the least important things to most people is their closest inter-personal relationships.

You can tell this by their actions, not their words. They'll say family is the most important thing, or their kids, spouse, etc. But what do they *do*? They dump their kids in childcare all day every day nearly from birth, they ensure their "significant" other pays 50% of the bills and does 50% of the chores in a purely transactional "roommates" style relationship, or they live totally separated and independent lives from their so-called partners that barely intersect, taking separate vacations, having exclusively separate friendships and hobbies, etc. It's pretty clear to me at least, that most people don't value those who should be closest to them, no matter what they say.

People also seem to have lost the concept that one should bring something to the table in *all* relationships. Whether it's dating, friendship, business, or anything else... what do *you* offer the other person? What's in it for them to be with you? Everyone seems to approach everything only with a "what's in it for me" perspective these days, and when you have two people at the table with that sort of focus, it's never going to end well IMO.

This seems especially apparent in the area of modern "romantic" relationships, where so many women consider it an affront if the man wants to pay for a date, or open a door for them, or basically offer them anything. There's this "I'm strong and independent, I don't need you!!" attitude that has become quite common. It's no wonder so many relationships seem miserable.

Many people seem to have lost sight of the fact that a good relationship should really be *inter*-dependent, where both parties "need" (really, "want") each other, which is vastly not the same as *co*-dependent. But most seem to use the latter term without knowing what it actually means. Inter-dependence is a beautiful thing and results in the whole being more than the sum of the parts, but I don't encounter it often outside of my own relationship.

Anyway, thanks for getting me thinking this morning and congrats on the new video format! I also sent you an email with a couple of small technical observations.

You can always tell what's actually important (and more to the point, what is UN-important) to people by where they spend their time. Sadly today, one of the least important things to most people is their closest inter-personal relationships. You can tell this by their actions, not their words. They'll say family is the most important thing, or their kids, spouse, etc. But what do they *do*? They dump their kids in childcare all day every day nearly from birth, they ensure their "significant" other pays 50% of the bills and does 50% of the chores in a purely transactional "roommates" style relationship, or they live totally separated and independent lives from their so-called partners that barely intersect, taking separate vacations, having exclusively separate friendships and hobbies, etc. It's pretty clear to me at least, that most people don't value those who should be closest to them, no matter what they say. People also seem to have lost the concept that one should bring something to the table in *all* relationships. Whether it's dating, friendship, business, or anything else... what do *you* offer the other person? What's in it for them to be with you? Everyone seems to approach everything only with a "what's in it for me" perspective these days, and when you have two people at the table with that sort of focus, it's never going to end well IMO. This seems especially apparent in the area of modern "romantic" relationships, where so many women consider it an affront if the man wants to pay for a date, or open a door for them, or basically offer them anything. There's this "I'm strong and independent, I don't need you!!" attitude that has become quite common. It's no wonder so many relationships seem miserable. Many people seem to have lost sight of the fact that a good relationship should really be *inter*-dependent, where both parties "need" (really, "want") each other, which is vastly not the same as *co*-dependent. But most seem to use the latter term without knowing what it actually means. Inter-dependence is a beautiful thing and results in the whole being more than the sum of the parts, but I don't encounter it often outside of my own relationship. Anyway, thanks for getting me thinking this morning and congrats on the new video format! I also sent you an email with a couple of small technical observations.
mgilmour on 01 March 2020

What a great series of observations! I know of people who do exactly what you're talking about and they are miserable.....it seems like they are planning for separation as they go into the relationship.

What a great series of observations! I know of people who do exactly what you're talking about and they are miserable.....it seems like they are planning for separation as they go into the relationship.
vanclute on 01 March 2020

Yeah... I swear most people these days don't even seem to like the person they are supposedly partnering with. Seems pretty silly to me! LOL

Yeah... I swear most people these days don't even seem to like the person they are supposedly partnering with. Seems pretty silly to me! LOL
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