Saturday Musings - Dealing With Bad Behaviour

Cutting through the emotional FOG is difficult.

Do you ever put up with people that just treat you badly? Maybe their work colleagues, friends or even family members. They seem to believe that they can treat you in whatever manner they like, while you have to obey a series of rules that they impose upon you.

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I had a situation like this and it was really perplexing how to first of all identify the bad behaviour and then take action to prevent it from happening in the future. Remember, you can never change the other person, but you can change your own behaviour in how you will relate to them into the future.

As a part of my research into how to deal with my own personal situation I read a great article that really helped me in identifying bad behaviour. In essence the article pointed out that when you feel confused in a personal situation that it’s often due to FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt).

Fear – the other person tries to level a degree of fear on your life. This could be fear of losing a client, job, a loved one or anything that will make you apprehensive.

Obligation – they will then explain in detail how you owe them or others and that you should alter your behaviour accordingly.

Guilt – making you feel guilty for not doing something they want you to do is a great weapon in their arsenal. They will often say things like, “How do you think this will impact your children?” See this for what it is, guilt.

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