Personal Musings – How to Gain Trust

The foundations of trust are logic, empathy, authenticity.

Several months ago, I shared with readers the three principles of truth, trust and learning that I’ve endeavoured to build my life upon. In this article I would like to expand upon the principle of trust and show you how you can become more trustworthy by incorporating the three foundations of trust into your life.

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Logic
I’m sure you’ve been in a meeting at work where a person has been giving a presentation that just didn’t hang together. Everyone else in the room can sense the lack of logic and end up rolling their eyes to one another….what they are actually saying is I can’t trust what is being presented.

The more logical you are the more likely people will believe what you are saying. This goes for all your relationships, whether they are friends, family or work colleagues.

For example, you may be able to tell your 8-year-old child that they can’t go to a friend’s house because “I said no” but trying that approach with an 18-year-old will get you entirely different results. The older child will expect to hear a logical reason why they can’t go out. They may still not agree with it but at least it made sense.

The rule of thumb is to think before you speak, and you’ll look a lot wiser. In fact, if you are in a work meeting, be the last person to speak and then you can logically build upon the input of everyone else in the room…..this will gain you a lot of trust as you’re considerate to the input of others.

Empathy
Empathy and sympathy are often confused between each other. The best way of thinking about the difference is that sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for another person while empathy is putting yourself in their shoes.

When you really care about another person you will become empathetic and they will notice that you are. It’s all about getting alongside them and together sharing what they are going through and bearing whatever the burden is together.

A friend of mine was doing exceptionally well in his business but within the space of about a week everything turned to disaster and he lost everything due to being caught up in a scam. He’d done nothing wrong and yet he'd lost everything.

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Wolftalker
- extremely important, agreed. "What can I do to help?" is powerful.
17 September 2018
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Saturday Musings - Communication

Over the last several weeks I’ve been sharing with readers on the principles that have helped me in my life. If followed, I believe the principles of truth, trust and learning will assist you in your own decision making and help you grow as an individual. This article will cover the principle of communication, which is one that encompasses everything that I’ve shared so far….and in many respects is one of the most difficult.

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There are many aspects to communication and the first one I will unpack is whether you should enter into a dialogue with a person or not. I believe that most of the time it’s important to keep the lines of communication open, even in the most difficult of circumstances but there are exceptions.

As I mentioned in a previous article I recently experienced a situation where the other person was immediately very aggressive in an email. It was a difficult email to respond to and required a very measured response that I had checked over by a number of people I respect before hitting the send button.

I find that in emotionally charged situations it’s often good to have someone else check over what you are communicating. It’s so easy to get caught up with your feelings and responding in a controlled manner can be difficult. If you find yourself in a difficult situation then make sure you get some advice from someone that is invested in your life. They will often provide a clearer insight to the situation than you can yourself.

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Saturday Musings – The Strength of Enlightenment

Becoming enlightened is that “aha” moment when the penny drops as you perceive something that you were not aware of before. It’s often the power of these enlightened moments that drive innovation and entrepreneurship as individuals gain a glimpse of what could be rather than what is. So how do you become enlightened?

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On the "Life Principles" diagram that I have been sharing with you over the past weeks enlightenment is the relationship between the truth and learning. You can not have enlightenment unless you are open to both these characteristics.

Enlightenment

For example, at the core of the scientific method is the quest for truth. A scientist will not achieve enlightenment in their field of studies if they refuse to face what their data is showing them.

There’s a problem with this position though….we view the truth through our own set of filters. This means, one person may look at the data and see one thing and another person see something completely different. Does this mean the first person is wrong? Not at all……and this is where learning comes into play.

Learning is the foil to truth that provides the check and opens us up to the idea that there may be other answers to the problem we are trying to solve. Learning is all about possibilities and it acknowledges the fact that everyone can potentially contribute to the issue at hand.

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Saturday Musings – Developing Strong Relationships

I wanted to continue the series I’ve been writing about on what it means to conduct your life through principles. I hope you appreciate and value the openness of which I’m sharing and that you receive a benefit for your own life from reading these articles.

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The previous articles in the series can be accessed from the following links:
Three Vital Aspects of the Truth
How to Develop Trust
The Power in a Learning Mindset
It’s All About Character

In this article I would like to start exploring the relationships between the three underpinning principles. If you wish to build strong relationships with others, then there is no better way of doing it by conducting yourself under the guidance of the principles of truth and trust.

Strong Relationships

Too many people expect to have great marriages and wonderful relationships with their children while conducting themselves in a manner that is contrary to a positive outcome. The key that unlocks the power of truth and trust is consistency.

I remember many years ago I had a disaster in one of my businesses. I ended up leaving to go to work at 5am and getting home at around 9pm each night. Our son Timothy was around eight years old at the time and one of his chores was to set the table for dinner each night.We’d talk on the phone and he used to ask me if I’d be home for dinner. Of course, I told him, “Yes”. The reality was that I didn’t make it and was inevitably caught up in all the things at work. Eventually he learned and stopped asking me the question.

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Saturday Musings – It’s All About Character

Over the last few weeks I’ve been unpacking the traits of truth, trust and learning and how they’ve helped me in my own personal relationships. A good way of thinking about the principles is as the three points of a triangle. In this article I’m going to explore what is in the centre of all of us…..our character.

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Many people confuse doing good as their character. Doing good is the result of good character and NOT character in itself. What is character? One dictionary defines good character as:

“The stable and distinctive qualities built into an individual’s life which determine his or her response regardless of circumstances.”


A stable person often has a set of values that form the bedrock of their life. These values determine how they interact with others and how they respond to circumstances. Notice, that I haven’t made a judgement call on what the values are.

Some people have a value of selfishness that results in every interaction they have being focused on benefiting them. From their perspective life is all about accumulating more rather than giving out.

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Rawgi
I can't really say when I developed my Character, but it was at an early age. I choose to help others deal with stressful situat... Read More
18 March 2018
mgilmour
As always, I really enjoy reading your comments Rawgi. You'll be happy to hear that we finally have everything back in order and t... Read More
18 March 2018
Rawgi
I don't know about your side of the world, but these guys can pinpoint the leak to within 10 inches or less. I have had them find... Read More
19 March 2018
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